Of the Knight and the Widow

Of the Knight and the Window

Taken from Aesop’s fables and other medieval folklore

Image from William Caxton's Original Illustrated edition of Aesop's Fables (1484)

Most people think of animal stories when they think of Aesop' Fables. Animals like the sly fox who took on the bad characteristics of we humans. But not all of the fables involved animals, although they were still about the darker side of life. Stories like the Knight and the Widow, for I have always enjoyed telling merry gestes; short jokey tales with a great punch line and that's why I like this story. It's also a story that you can really work with, making it as gruesome and as silly as you please!

Once long ago there lived an alewife. An old woman who divided her time between the selling ale and the finding a new man to wed For the alewife had had many husbands in her many years. More husbands than there were days in the week, and weeks in the year. All had felt the sharp end of her tongue, and Death's cold bony fingers upon their shoulders. And in truth all were happy to go, for the alewife was the most troublesome, the most noisome women any of them had ever known. And so it was her last husband had died this very week and she was already searching for his replacement.

Well it was at this time that a notorious rogue, a thief and murderer of many years standing was hanged by the neck for all his terrible crimes. Hanged at a crossroads and as was the custom of the day, he was left hanging in chains to rot to serve as an example to all those who sought to steal and kill. But such was the hatred and notoriety of the hanged man that the local Lord ordered a young Knight, new in his service to guard the body. To protect the body from any who sought to attack it or even steal it away and sell to others. To those who might use for who knows what!

Well the young Knight wanted to please his new Lord and so he followed his orders faithfully. For three long days and three longer nights the knight guarded the corpse and never once left his post. But he grew tired, he grew hungry and thirsty and besides no one had tried to touch the body of the hanged man, save only the crows that pecked at his eye and his flesh. Surely thought the young Knight no one shall touch the hanged man now, for it was summer and the body was already beginning to stink. Surely thought he, no one will mind if I slip away for a while and have an ale or two or maybe even three. And so it was the young knight left the body hanging at the crossroads and went quickly to an alehouse nearby; the alehouse of the alewife who divided her time between the selling of ale and the finding a new man to wed!

Well the alewife was pleased to welcome the handsome young man to her house and even more pleased to pour him an ale or two, an ale or three, an ale or four and many, many more! So many in fact that the knight spent most of the night at the alehouse and only as the first cock crowed in the early hours did he remember his duty.

But when he returned to the cross roads all was not as he had left it. Something was wrong, for all was not right and where once the body had hung; now only chains remained. Well straight way the young knight returned to the alehouse. He knew only a few people of the town and he trusted even less and the alewife had treated him kindly and the Knight thought that an old woman such as she must have a good supply of wit and wisdom about her. He fell to his knees before the old alewife and pleaded with he. Good Mistress says he. You must help me. For if you don’t I must leave this place, lest they take me for a knave hang me in the rogue's place. The alewife could not believe her ears, it could not be, for she had taken quite a fancy to the young Knight. She thought him a lusty young fellow and was not about to give him up so easily. And the young Knight had indeed been right and she had wit and wisdom enough for the both of them.

Fear not gentle Knight says she. For if you follow what I say and do, you shall be safely delivered. And with that she fetched a spade and lantern and made straightway for the graveyard where her last husband was three days since buried. And whilst she held the lantern high the old alewife set the young Knight to digging. Fear not gentle Knight, says she, for we shall hang my husband’s body in the rogues place!

And so it was they dug up her dead husbands mouldering corpse and set it high on the gallows in place of the murdering thief. And the knight was much pleased….. But wait says he, something is wrong, for something is not right. For the murdering rogue that once hanged here had but one leg, for the other was lost long ago when he fell beneath the wheels of a cart. The old woman merely laughed. No problem, says she, and she went quickly, fetched a saw and sawed off her dead husband’s leg!

And the knight was much pleased.... But wait, says he, something is wrong, for something is not right. For the murdering rogue that once hanged here had no eyes, for the one was lost long ago when he got into a fight after cheating at cards and the other was lost just the other night when a crow took it for its dinner! The old woman merely laughed. No problem, says she, and she went quickly, fetched a dagger and plucked out both her dead husband’s eyes!

And the knight was much pleased.... But wait, says he, something is wrong, for something is not right. For the murdering rogue that once hanged here had a brand upon his cheek, a mark burnt into his skin to show all that he was a thief. The old woman merely laughed. No problem, says she, and she went quickly, fetched a poker from the fire and burnt deeply into her dead husbands flesh!

And the knight was much pleased.... But wait, says he, something is wrong, for something is not right. For the murdering rogue that once hanged here had but two teeth in the whole of his head, for the others had rotted away long, long ago. The old woman merely laughed. No problem, says she, and she went quickly, fetched a hammer and knocked all but two of her husbands teeth from his mouth!

And the knight was much pleased.... But wait says he, something is wrong, for something is not right. For the murdering rogue that once hanged here had but three fingers upon his right hand, for the other was lost long, long ago, when he had been bitten by the Lords best hunting hound. The old woman merely laughed. No problem, says she, and she went quickly, fetched an axe and chopped off her dead husband’s fingers!

And the knight was much pleased.... At last the alewife’s husband was a goodly match for the murdering rogue who had once hung there. And so pleased was the knight that once again he fell to his knees and thanked the old woman for her help and promised her any reward that it was in his power to give. Well, says the old woman, I wish to be wed, once more to marry. So how would it be that you become my husband and I become your wife?

The knight, he slowly raised himself to his feet and rubbed his chin as if in careful thought. No fear mother, says he, for I have seen well enough how you treated your last husband. I’m off! And with that the young knight jumped upon his horse and galloped off into what was left of the old night. And he was never seen in that locality again.

And as for the alewife’s last husband? Well, he was left to rot.

And as for the alewife? Well, some of those who have told this tale are not certain, but I feel sure that she served many more pots of ale and wed many more a foolish husband. Of that I have no doubt!