The Cuckold and the Ring- An tale for adults!

One thing that really frustrates me as a storyteller is that many people still assume stories are only for children. But I know from my own research finding authentic tales from medieval times and before that many stories were not intended solely for children. Many were intended for a family audience to be told around the hearth. Many developed from moralising sermons for all in the church. But some clearly grew and grew in ribaldry as they were told and retold in the alehouse and were perhaps never ever intended for children's ears at all!

Stories like this one adapted from a thirteenth century French fabliaux; a fable told to amuse. And what better way than to mock the old fool who chooses to take a young wife - a stock character in many a medieval tale.....

Once….

Long, long ago and in a land far, far away from here there lived an old merchant. A man rich in coin, but poor in all other respects. For the old man was ugly both within and without. For the old man loved little beyond the pursuit of wealth and was not interested in anything that money could not buy….

But there is not much that money can’t buy, even a wife. For there was another merchant of the town who had himself a beautiful young daughter… She was a peach, a poppet, a daisy… Prettier still than the pear tree in full blossom. In the words of Master Geoffrey Chaucer, she was as skittish as a newborn colt and as slim and as supple as weasel and all the men of the town loved her and wished to occupy her attentions.

But she was destined for the old man. For even though she had no love for him her father gave her no choice, for he was to do very well from the contract. And so it was the old man and the young woman wed and the old man took the young woman to his house and kept her there as a prisoner. For the old man new well enough that others lusted after his young wife, that they wished to give her the twinkle from their eyes and he knew well enough that others would come sniffing at his door whenever he the old man was out. So jealous did the old merchant become, that he stopped going away on business, he stopped going to his shop.

But soon his business began to suffer, his money began to dwindle and the old man knew he must go away; travel to his creditors if his business was to survive. But the journey was a long one, too far for his young wife unused to the hard road and besides he would have no time for her. But what could he do, for if he was to leave her behind, then others would come sniffing at his door and he should surely be made a cuckold.

The old man could not decide what to do. And so it was the night before he was due to travel he tossed and turned in his bed and sleep would not easily come to him….. But then he saw a strange light from without his chamber… The door opened and there stood an Angel, clothed all in white; a bright blazing halo atop his head and a gold ring held in the palm of his hand. Fear not old merchant said the Angel as he gave the ring to the old man. For as long as you wear this ring your wife shall not be unfaithful. As long as you wear this ring, you shall not be made cuckold. And with that the Angel vanished.

Well, the old man frightened as he was, was much relieved and assured by the Angel words… He slipped the ring on his finger and fell into the deep, deep sleep of a happy and contented man…..

The following morning the old merchant woke early and now greatly refreashed and reassured he made to rise from his bed, but he could not. For where his feet and legs led his body, his arm, his hand would not follow. For the old man's ring finger was stuck firmly up his young wife’s arse. For it was true, whilst the old man kept that particular ring on his finger, his young wife was never unfaithful. Whilst he kept that particular ring on his finger, he was never made cuckold!

The End.