The Pardoners Tale - Three foolish youths and Death himself

Adapted from Chaucer's Canterbury Tale

Hopefully one thing you will take away from any of my stories is that although life could be hard in medieval times our ancestors still knew how to laugh albeit in a moral way! They liked their jokes and jests just as we still do today and they needed to be able to laugh, for life could be very hard indeed. War, famine and disease were never far away and so people had a greater intimacy with Death than we today, they knew Death well enough. In all the churches of the land at this time the people would have seen depictions of hell and Death, which served as warnings to all. Pictures of monstrous animals and demons consuming the sinful, eating all those who had lived a bad life. All those who had lived lewd lives and died of diseases like the Black Death. In my own home town of Norwich there were 3 outbreaks in the 1300s and there are some as say that up to 25,000 people lost their lives to it. Oh how they suffered before they died, large black buboes and boils some said to be as big as apples under the armpits and elsewhere, a violent fever and sickness, 3 to 6 days of melancholy and misery before death and being tipped into a common grave shared with many other unfortunate victims of the pestilence that plagued the land. And what could be done, for no one knew the cause. Was it the wrath of God upon a sinful people or ‘arsenical’ fumes, polluted gases erupting from the very earth beneath our feet? No one knew what caused the plague and so there was little that could be done to protect against this terrible disease. But as you will hear there were some as tried…….

For my tale begins in Flanders - a distant City, but not that different to Norwich. For like Norwich it suffered greatly from the ravishes of the disease and like Norwich it had its fair share of alehouses, pubs, taverns, call them what you will. And like Norwich, Flanders had its fair share of drunkards and fools who lived within the taverns drowning their sorrows now that the plague was upon them……

For in Flanders there was such a company
Of youngsters wedded to such sin and folly

The folly of gaming, of playing dice and cards and drinking too much and swearing outrageous oaths. For they swore in the medieval fashion…

By Gods precious blood!’ and ‘By Gods nails
By the blood of Jesus kept at the Abbey of Hails
My dice scores seven, yours only three
By Gods two arms, if you try cheating me

And as they swore they drank some more and as they drank some more they swore some more! For it is a common known fact that the more a man drinks, the more foolish he becomes and the more foolish he becomes the more he drinks and so on and so forth. As it was with these three young men….

The three loose livers of whom I tell
Along time before the first church bell
Had seated themselves in a tavern drinking
And as they sat, heard another bell clinking

But it was the not church bell calling all to a service, It was but a solitary hand bell and it let forth a sad, a sorrowful report, whilst in the distance a lone voice could also be heard….

Bring out your dead. Bring out your dead. Bring out your dead.

And through the window of the tavern the three youths saw a corpse being carted. A dead man being carried on his last journey, to be rudely tipped into a common grave, there to lay with the other unfortunate victims of the plague. Well all three now wished to know who had died, for which unlucky soul the bell now tolled. And the serving boy of the tavern told all three that it was a friend of theirs and that Death had taken him suddenly just the evening before. He died as the boy said whilst he sat making merry upon that very bench where they now sat.

And whilst he sat there blind drunk, there came
A softly treading thief and Death was his name!

It was Death the thief who steals the life from all eventually. Be they rich or poor, old or young, all are the unwilling victims of his crimes! But now their host, the landlord spoke and he reminded the youths that Death had already taken thousands whilst the plague raged in Flanders and he warned all three to be on their guard lest Death should come a creeping and steal the very life force from them.

Death the thief! A strange idea to you and I, but remember that the people of medieval times had an intimacy with Death that we do not have today. They knew Death well enough. In all the churches of the land at this time the people would have seen depictions of hell which served as warnings to all. Pictures of monstrous animals and demons consuming the sinful, eating all those who had lived a bad life. They knew Death well enough because it could be all around them! That doesn’t mean that men didn’t fear dying, for like you and I most wanted to live long happy lives, but not it seems our three drunken friends in Flanders. They were much offended by the demise of their friend. He had been a fine friend who had drunk many a quart of ale with the three young men and now they wanted revenge! They were not scared of Death, for he was nothing but a common thief who steals the life of men as if it were no more than a few base coins in a poor mans purse and as a common thief should not he be punished for his crimes?

And so it was pondering upon these thoughts they drank some more and as they drank their anger like their foolishness grew. Anger at the loss of a friend, but anger fuelled by drink, which was the worst kind of anger, because it could not be controlled. Anger at that ruffian Death, that common thief. Should not he himself be put to death for all his evil crimes? Why yes of course he should agreed all three and all three drew their daggers and brought them down into the very bench upon which their friend had died. And each swore this very oath….

Each of us will hold his hand up to the other
And with this oath become his brother
And we will kill this black betrayer Death
And we will kill the killer, by Gods Holy breath

Each swore the oath upon his life that all three would act as one and be Death's executioners. They would punish Death for all his thieving ways. And so it was all three set forth from the tavern upon their foolish quest. And it was a foolish quest, for they were as drunk as drunk could be and it is a common known fact that the more a man drinks the more foolish he becomes and the more foolish a man becomes then the more he drinks and so on and so forth! And it was a foolish quest because none of them knew not what Death looked like or from whence he came. Although they did know that he had been hard at work in the City, especially in the poorest quarter of Flanders. Death had been especially busy there and many had died and so they thought if they were to find Death anywhere then sure it would be there.

But they had not gone as much as half a mile
And just as they were about to cross a stile
When they a met an old man who greeted them
He said ‘God save and keep you Gentlemen

But their greeting back to him was less kind and all three looked with suspicion upon the old man. For why was such an old frail man abroad on such a cold night as this? And how come such an old man as he was still alive when so many young folk were dead of the plague? How come, they asked him had old man as decrepit as he not yet shuffled off this mortal coil, how come he had not perished of the foul pestilence that was upon the land? And he answered thus

Although I have walked the length and breath of this land in many a town and village and even to the end of the earth, I have never found anyone on my travels who would exchange his youth for my old age. I’m so tired and like a prisoner trapped upon this earth. Upon this earth which was is heavens gate I go knocking from early till late Saying, my dearest earth let me in See how I wither, flesh, blood and skin. But mother earth will not let me in and though I yearn to exchange my poor mans shirt for a linen shroud, it is not yet to be.

But, the three foolish youth were not convinced by the old mans words. Surely they thought this old man he must be in league with Death, perhaps he was Death's spy looking for his next victim. Perhaps he had even struck a bargain with Death, that would explain how an old man as he were still alive. Why he might even be Death himself for all they knew, for the foolish youths did not know what Death looked like or from whence he came. And even if he were not Death they still felt certain that one so old, so close to death as he would know where thief Death might be found. And so they asked him…

Old man says they, old man. It is Death we seek and so prey tell us where he is?

Now the withered old mans dull eyes flashed brightly…

Well gentlemen said he if you’re so keen
I’ll tell you now that death I’ve seen
To find death, follow this crooked road
For upon my word, I left him in that grove
Under a tree and there he will abide
For all your boasting, he’ll not hide

So follow the crooked road to the oak tree yonder and there you will find Death!

Thereupon all three foolish youths began to run. God be with you the old man shouted after them, but they did not reply. They were already near the tree running toward their destiny. They ran and they ran….

Until they reached the tree and then they found
Gold Florins, gold coins, fine and round
Near eight bushels of them, or so they thought
Thenceforth it was no longer Death they sought
For each was happy at the sight
Those Florins, those coins, so beautiful and so bright

The sight of such a precious hoard of treasure meant that all three now forgot their sworn oath to punish Death. But know this, Death had not forgotten them although all three were happy for now for…

Upon them fortune had bestowed his treasure
So they might live in luxury forever

But wait. How could they claim this treasure for themselves? If they were to carry it away now whilst others were still abroad they might see the treasure. They knew that they must wait until the alehouses and taverns were closed and non but the vilest rogues were still abroad. They must wait until the veil of darkness had descended so no one could see them carrying away the treasure to their houses...

This treasure must be carried away at night
As quietly and slyly as it might

For if they were caught, people would say they were thieves and for their treasure they would be hanged. They would have to wait, but waiting could be thirsty work. So all three drew straws to see who among them would go to town to fetch some wine and some bread, whilst the other two kept a sharp eye upon the gold. And as it happened it fell to the youngest of the three friends to leave, for it was he that drew the shortest straw. And so it was he that set off for town.

Forth toward the town he went, anon
But almost as soon as he were gone
One of the two who stayed said unto the other
You must knowest well you are my brother
Well, I’ll tell you something you won’t lose by
Now our young friend has gone awry

Why asked he, should we share the gold between three?...

How would it be, if I could work it with you
That we only shared the gold between us two?

Both agreed that they were two and two are stronger than one. And both agreed that upon their young friends return they would wait until he settled and when he sat down they would leap upon him as if having fun, as if making sport, but with their daggers they would skewer him right through the back! It seems then that two foolish youths were taken by greed. But greed is a disease just like the plague, for like the plague it is very infectious and not many are immune. For the youngest of the foolish threesome, the one heading into town, he too was thinking of the gold…

Those lovely shining Florins, new and bright
‘Oh Lord!’ said he, ‘if I only I might’
Keep all the treasure for myself alone
I be the happiest person beneath Gods heavenly throne

And to that end he went first to an apothecary, a chemist if you like and upon the excuse of needing to kill some rats, he bought poison. And It was a good strong poison that no living creature could withstand, for as the apothecary noted, it was so strong that anything that drank but drop the size of a grain of wheat…

Then it would die, in less a while
Than it takes to run an even mile

Satisfied with his poison, the young man bought some bread and three large bottles of wine and then hiding in an alleyway nearby he uncorked two of the bottles and poured the poison into them and then made his way back to the tree. Well what more do I need say, for there was to be no going back, the die had been cast. No sooner had all three sat down and broken the bread than as if to make sport the two attacked the one…

And before he’d a chance to be well fed
They jumped upon him and killed him dead

But killing a friend can be thirsty work and just as their dead friend had planned they drank from the bottle of poisoned wine. And just as their dead friend had planned, they both suffered slow agonising deaths. The murderers were murdered by a murdered man! And so it seems the old man had been right all along, for it was Death the three foolish youths had sought and he had indeed been waiting for them at the foot of the great oak tree…..

For although they found not Death, not he
Death found them and claimed all three!